You haven’t showered in 4 days or eaten more than 1 meal in over a week because “there’s no time”. Too many decisions to be made have caused your brain to basically shut down to anything that isn’t dire to the present moment. The struggle to figure out everything and yet want to crawl back into bed and do nothing is a contant battle. Sound familiar?
Three out of my five clients are going through the exact same thing right now. So I thought well, if it’s plaguing them, it might be plaguing you too. So here we go.
There are five things that keep people from accomplishing their goals. The first is that there are no goals set in the first place. If you don’t have specific, measureable, attainable goals written out and put into place, you’re setting yourself up for massive overwhelm and failure.
Start with why. If you haven’t read the book by Simon Sinek that has this exact title, it’s a fabulous read and a great place to start! Why are you waking up in the morning? What are you trying to achieve? Set the goals. Write them down. Break them down into 3 year, 1 year, and 90 days, then even further into what you need to do daily and weekly to make them happen. If you need help with this, email me at email@example.com. I’ll do a 1 hour session with you and we’ll have you on your way with a specific action plan that works for you.
The next thing that keeps people from achieving greatness is not that they don’t have time, it’s that they don’t have time management.
When you wake up in the morning, do you know exactly what your day is going to look like? Do you know what time you’ll be eating your meals, showering, going to the gym, connecting with your spouse and intentionally building the life you want? If you questioned any of these or said no, there’s your reason for not having what you want. The hard truth is that you aren’t intentionally making time for it.
See, if you say yes to your job and build that into your day, yes to running your kids to and fro, yes to a grocery pickup, cooking meals and an episode or four of your favorite show but have no idea what connection question you’ll be asking your spouse, what time you’ll be engaging in alone time or what that will look like, you’ve chosen everything you’ve said yes to over your marriage and your goals. Saying yes to something means you’re saying no to or neglecting something else.
So how do you make time for the important things?
I use this planner (not an ad, just a planner I really really love!). I time block. I also schedule according to my cycle. Ladies, if you are not doing this- let me tell you. GAME. CHANGER. This will straight up dominate your goals.
The fact of the matter is that if you’re not scheduling things- vacations, family outings, your gym time, self-care, etc. it’s not going to happen. Life (or the social media time suck) will ultimately get in the way and it just won’t be a priority.
Limit Your To-Do List.
Realistically, you can’t do it all. The maximum you can do is six big things a day and maybe not even that. If you’re going to bed at night with guilt that you didn’t get it all done, you’re trying to do too much. Who are you doing those things for? Who are you trying to impress? How is this weighing on your mental or emotional health and energy? Some things are going to need to go in the F*** it bucket. When you’re wondering how you do it all, the answer is, you don’t. You go back to your goals. What is most important to do daily or weekly to make your goals become a reality?
Ask for Help.
It may be the hardest thing you have to do but it’s also the most vital. Delegate housework to your kids. Developmentally, they are able to start helping do small tasks by age 2. Ask your partner to help with what you don’t have energy for. If they won’t, have the hard conversation around why and/or get help. It takes the whole family working as a team to keep the ship afloat. Hire a babysitter, housekeeper, or assistant if possible. If not, let a few more things go.
No is a boundary in teh simplest form. If something is too much for you financially, energetically, mentally, physically or emotionally- just say no. This is your permission to stop people pleasing, stop doing the things you think you “should” for the sake of everyone else. When you take care of yourself and set boundaries, you’re respected more and have more energy for who and what matters most. You’ll also be doing things from a place of acceptance versus obligation so your heart will be all in instead of half in and half resentful. You’ll do a better, more complete job and the energy you provide while completing the task will be more positive for everyone, including yourself.
If this is a topic you’re struggling with and you need more help, I have a course that helps with this. It can be done self-study or with 1:1 coaching over 6 weeks. Take that first step of asking for help and email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m opening my schedule for 5 clients who need this specific help for the next 6 weeks. Let me know if you’d like to be one of those 5.
Until then, happy scheduling! 🙂