You’ve planned your wedding day for months, maybe even over a year! Everything from the flowers to the caterer, the cake, the DJ, the venue, the guests, the list goes on and on. But have you planned for your marriage?
The build up to the wedding day is so extravagent but many couples wake up the next morning still giddy that you get to say “Good morning husband. Good morning wife.” Yet, there’s a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach like “What now?”
This is where premarital coaching thrives. If you’ve planned for your marriage like you’ve planned for your wedding, you wake up with confidence knowing you’ve got this! Here are the top 10 reasons why premarital coaching is so important!
1. Did you know that in a study done by the Health Research Fund, couples who took some kind of premarital counseling/coaching course had over 30% more satisfaction in their marriage than those who didn’t take a course before marriage?
2. Love is a verb not a noun.
There will be seasons in your marriage that are hard. You may not “feel” in love with your spouse. I know it’s hard to believe now but it’s true. You may not be happy and you may wonder if it’s time to call it quits. The answer here is no. It’s not time to call it quits, it’s time to push through and get to the root. When you get premarital coaching, you will be given tools and preparation for these times. You’ll learn how to navigate these waters so when it sneaks up on you, you’re prepared and can row through it quickly and successfully.
3. Coaching is less than 10% of your total wedding budget! The average cost of a wedding in 2021 is $30,433 in the US. Coaching for 12 sessions is only 5% of that total cost. Planning for your lifetime literally costs you less than your cake and that’s perishable.
4.Speaking of perishable, many of the items you purchase for your big day are. Many items will be rented and given back or only used once and then stored or put on facebook marketplace. The tools you gain in marriage coaching are used again and again, like a family recipe book that you use for every situation, need and conflict.
5. You’re setting your future children up for success as well. These habits you develop, tools you use and put into practice are also handed down to your kids as they learn what a solid marriage looks like and how to model theirs after yours. A healthy marriage leads to a healthy life overall and a healthy family.
6. Learn how to fight fair.
Conflict is inevitable in marriage. Most people bring in fight styles they’ve learned from their parents or in past relationships. Many of these fight styles aren’t healthy. With coaching, you learn how to fight fair so you’re fighting together instead of against each other.
Remember: if you don’t have arguments, what you do have is a lot of secrets.
7. Learn how to connect.
Remember those times where you’re not going to “feel in love”. These and other times will require more connection. Every person feels connection differently. Now is the time to learn how to connect with your partner on a deeper level. Learn how to be and have attentiveness, responsiveness and engagement.
8. Opportunities for growth
If you never set goals for your marriage, never work on yourself and your marriage, eventually you’ll become complacent. Complacency is the killer of happiness. Coaching provides an opportunity for you and your partner to find out where you/your relationship needs some growth. Growth leads to more satisfaction and fulfillment both as an individual and in the relationship.
9. Beat the divorce statistic
America has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world with about 50% of marriages ending in divorce. Premarital coaching starts working against that statistic the moment you sign up by giving you the awareness, tools and preparation you need. Failure happens because of improper planning or lack of execution. Coaching gives you a plan, actions and accountability.
10. There is no instruction manual to marriage or parenting but coaching gives you the tools and the toolbox with a guidebook. Without it, you’re putting together a marriage blind and with only the tools you’ve learned from others…but are they the right tools for you?
A commonly asked question is “I’m already married and didn’t do premarital coaching! I wish we had! Is it too late?” NO! Ideally, you want to do this before you get married but it’s never too late to start adding tools to your toolbelt!
If you or someone you know is getting married and interested in coaching, email me at coaching@recognizingpotential.com for more information or to sign up. I only take 5 couples a month so don’t wait! I look forward to working with you!
Your coach,
Kameran