“At what age do people finally have their sh!t together”…asking for a friend. Ok, not really. That friend is me.
Three different people have asked me this question this week or have posted it on social media. Three different people struggling like everyone else in the world. My answer? Never. Don’t stop reading. Stick with me here. I don’t say never as in “you don’t ever have your poop in a group”. I say this because that’s actually not a thing. Let me explain.
Your life is uniquely yours. The job you have, the number of kids you have, the relationships you cultivate every day, the passions you have, and the purpose you live out each day, all unique to you. The saying “ having it all together” is only relative to that person’s circumstances. So when you look at someone else and think “Dang! That person has it together and I don’t”, also remind yourself of the great Mark Twain who said “comparison is the thief of joy”. It truly is. The deck you’re playing the hell out of is not even close to being the same deck as those you’re comparing yourself to. That person may not be able to home-school 5 kids under the age of 12 like you rock the socks off every single day. That person may not be able to create the most beautiful art people have ever seen like you. Some may not even have the motivation to vacuum but here you are with the most spotless house people have ever been in and you have 3 babies under 5. The gifts you possess are nothing short of remarkable. You are the only one who can achieve the success of the dreams you have or accomplish the tasks you can the way you can. Ever notice that certain people can live in a self-created jungle and others (yours truly) can’t keep a succulent alive for a week? Differently unique.
The whole point here is to stop comparing yourself to other people. It’s doing you no good. It’s bringing you down and making you feel inadequate. Nobody needs any more of that than society puts on us already.
Own your strengths! Be PROUD of yourself. The last email you got was on gratitude. When you’re writing your list of 10 things you’re grateful for every day, write down a few things you can do that nobody else can do. You are a phenomenal woman, even when your life feels like a circus and you are The Greatest Showman! You’re doing a fantastic job with the cards you’ve been dealt in this season of life. Own it and rather than letting that comparison steal your joy, BRING THE JOY! Be proud of others for their excellence but be even more proud of yourself for all of your excellence!
Until next week, love each other and love yourself harder.