My 5 Fave Products to Enhance Your Marriage!

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

Happy Thanksgiving (if you’re in the states)! 

Black Friday is upon us! For some, that’s exhilarating and for others, it’s anxiety inducing. 

I got you. These are not ads, just simply products that I absolutely love and that Moe and I use in our own marriage. Links are accessible through the title of each. 

1. The Adventure Challenge

These scratch off books are so much fun for dates and in the bedroom! There are two different book options that are very detailed in the options they provide. For example, if you’re limited on time and want something at home, there’s an option for that. If you want something you can leave the house for or one that fits your budget better, the icons show which possibilities would be good for that too! The books offer a place to post a picture, so you have a little photo book when you’re done as well! Click the above to check out these fun books and other products they have! 

2. Marriage 365

I love what I do and I’m also a firm believer in having my own coach and mentors to learn from as well! If anyone, even a coach, tells you they have marriage completely figured out, they’re lying. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t all learn and grow together. Casey and Meygan are some of the best in this industry and I’m a member of their monthly membership as well! They have fantastic videos, worksheets, and resources. I also love them because they’re big promoters of connection as well and have many resources on that just as I do.

3. This monthly budget notebook

My husband and I have a shared google sheet we use but this planner is the best thing ever! I’ve promoted clever fox planners for a long while now and even though they won’t give me a discount code or affiliate link, I still love them! So many of the couples I work with have a spender and a saver in their relationship. Almost all of them say they don’t have a budget, don’t know where to start with a budget and all agree they need a budget. This budget planner will help you start, walk you through and get you on track to financial freedom as long as you’re using it consistently! 

4. Improving Your Sex Life
Do you think foreplay is only kissing? Do you rub her bean like you’re getting a stain out of the couch? Is she really getting off or just ready to get you off of her? Is she playful, confident and spontaneous for him? Vanessa and Xander are a married couple that offer videos, courses, and coaching specifically around sex. Vanessa is a sex therapist and one of the best professionals in the business, in my opinion. Straight forward, educational and helpful- this couple is guaranteed to help you in ways you never thought possible! I love that they address how important emotional connection is to intimacy and not just the act of sex. Anyone can have sex. It takes effort, education and intention to be intimate. 

5. My new program for husbands only called Simplified.
C’mon. You had to know that at least ONE of these products would be my own, right? It’s this one because it’s one that I’m most passionate about. I think husbands get a bad taste in their mouths because of their conditioning around emotions. They feel like they’re doing their best but because of fundamental differences between men and women, their “best” doesn’t seem “good enough”. I want to change that taste and the effort to be a little more concentrated and a lot more rewarding for both parties in the marriage! Introducing…. Simplified! 
A 6 week, 6 session approach to loving your wife well. 
Learn to: 
Speak her love language
Validate emotions & experiences (even if you don’t agree with them). 
Connect with her on a deeper level
Get the respect you want most
Express yourself and communicate better
Hear the message she’s communicating (even if the behavior seems “dramatic”)
Stay engaged in the conversation/heated discussion even when it feels like you want to run away.

In coaching couples, many of the husbands say that they wish they would’ve started with something like this. Committing to a 7 month course seems daunting and exhausting but 6 weeks to start seeing results at a fraction of the cost? No problem!  Until Monday 11/28, you get $100 off for Black Friday! I’m only taking 10 men on for this program right now so when it’s full, it’s full until 2023! 

Happy shopping!! 

Your coach,

Social Media: Friend or Foe?

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

There’s a reason people who have 10,000+ followers are called “influencers”. They’re literally influencing those who follow them. I don’t feel that a person should have 10k or more followers to be called an influencer though. We are influenced by anyone we are allowing to show up on our feed. The content they produce influences our decisions, our thought processes and our lives. If it didn’t, positively or negatively, we wouldn’t consume their content anymore. We’d simply unfollow.

I don’t take for granted that the combined 2,000 followers I have throughout the different platforms I produce content for, including you, are influenced by that content every single day. In fact, I value it. I have a responsibility to make sure that I’m using these platforms for good, creating helpful content and being responsible for the marriages and families that I’m influencing. I’m also highly aware that not everyone has the same heart I do or takes responsibility for their platforms in the way I do. I’m also hightly aware that because my 12 year old doesn’t have the brain synapses that I do and won’t until his brain stops growing at the age of 25! He doesn’t understand the influence these YouTubers have on him. I won’t let him have social media or his own phone yet for this very reason.

Most of what we learn about relationships can be traced back to our parents, grandparents, or older generations. We watched, we caught more than we were taught about what marriage and relationships should look like. Except when it comes to social media.

We are the first generation to have social media and we are enthralled, obsessed, and addicted. We take our phones to the bathroom with us for crying out loud! How do we model a healthy relationship for future generations?  You know, the upcoming generations that live in our houses and are watching us like we watched previous generations. How do we preach to them to limit screen time when we don’t limit it ourselves?

Recently, Mohammed and I started to ask ourselves the same question as we watched Encanto, Moana and Frozen on a loop for the 8,000th time and again when we were preaching to our tweenager that he needed to get off YouTube! Oof. The hard truth slapping us in the face is that they’re simply following our lead and the only way to make it stop is to set some boundaries.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I’ve seen so many posts in different groups I’m in on facebook talk about affairs, marriage problems and disconnection. Did you know that 85% of affairs start out as emotional affairs? A harmless text that eventually crosses a boundary, a social media post that leads to a direct message that leads to more than just “small talk”. A few years ago, I remember a comment a friend of mine made over couples who share social media accounts and how stupid it was. I wasn’t so sure then but now, I’m definitely sure that it’s not stupid at all. It’s a boundary.

Boundaries aren’t just around who we follow and whether we have our own social media accounts or combined to avoid temptation. They’re setting time limits, removing notifications so we aren’t controlled by a ding, vibration or number in the upper right hand corner of an app. They’re deleting social off your phone, keeping your phone out of the bedroom or turning it on do not disturb mode after a certain time to promote more connection between you and your partner. Boundaries are set to control our own behavior and promote what’s important to us. When we don’t have boundaries, we don’t have control on our time and energy. So we spend that time and energy getting sucked into things that may not be as important as our spouse and kids but we invest our most precious resources in what’s important. So by investing our time and energy into our phone, the message we’re sending to those we love is that social media is our priority. Technology gets our attention and our family gets what’s left over.

That realization was enough for us to say enough is enough. Here are the boundaries we’ve set. Feel free to take what you need and leave the rest.

  • Sleep mode at 9 pm  to avoid blue light before bed
  • No technology at the dinner table or in bed
  • Removed notifications
  • Time limits on certain apps and for the kids
  • Parental monitoring of sites

That’s what we’ve come up with so far. We also started taking a class called Screen Sanity- teaching your kids how to be responsible around technology. If you’d be interested in taking this class, let me know. I am considering getting certified as a faciliator. If you have boundaries around technology that you’ve set, I’d love to hear them as well! Feel free to respond to this email or post them in my Facebook coaching group!

Social media and technology aren’t all bad. Groups, influencers and content can help you grow, can educate and promote positivity. It can be used for good. The idea, like anything else, is to monitor, reflect and inventory it every now and then. Is it a problem? Is the content you’re consuming growing you or making you feel like garbage? Is it helping or hurting your marriage and your family connections? Do you need new or different boundaries?

I look forward to hearing about your boundaries and connecting with you on this topic.

Have a great week!

Your coach,