Uncategorized Archives – Page 4 of 22

This past weekend I went back to my hometown for my 19th high school reunion! Every 5 years, all of the alumni get together and it’s a really big deal. Super fun weekend! I loved seeing everyone and talking to my classmates about where they are, seeing pictures of their littles and hearing about their passions.

As I was on the plane ride home this morning, reflecting on the weekend, the conversations had and how I wish time would’ve allowed me even more connection with some, I kept thinking about how many times people had apologized for the way they looked or downplayed their successes.

I kept looking at these people thinking, you fly fighter jets and you’ve been traveling for 19 hours, I don’t care what you look like! You’re a freaking BADA$$!! Another one- Why are you apologizing for being sweaty after playing sand volleyball in the 110* heat?! I don’t care what you look like! I just want to hear all about your amazing adventures as a gynocological surgeon in Kenya, Congo and Ethiopia! Another one- WHY on earth are you downplaying leaving a job you hated when you’re running a company you LOVE and absolutely KILLING IT?!

How often do we do this? We downplay our successes so we don’t make others feel bad in case they aren’t on our level? Maybe they are! Maybe it just looks differently than what we think success is! Maybe they’re just starting their journey to success.

I know you. I know you’re working hard for your dream. I know you’re studying your butt off to become that nurse practitioner while raising three beautiful babies and being the best wife you can be. I know you’re leaving your security blanket of a j.o.b. to pursue your passion as an entrepreneur. I know that you are climbing that mountain!

The important thing is not for us to downplay what we’ve done. If you are successful by YOUR measures, own it! Your definition of success is not going to be the same as anyone else’s.

And for the love of summer, quit apologizing for how you look! If people are coming to see you based on what you look like (or your house for that matter) they need to make an appointment and you need new friends.

Own your success. Own your makeup free, gorgeous anyway face and keep killing the game. You don’t know who you’re inspiring along the way. Probably other successful people like me who just love the heck out of you because you’re you.

XOXO,

Kameran

P.S.- Something is coming. A BRILLIANT idea I had this morning while watching the clouds roll past the window in seat 7A. Make sure you’re in my free facebook group! 😉

Happy Tuesday!
This month, I had the honor of being a guest coach for another group that is coached by a lady I met in a mastermind I was in a few months back. She asked me to coach on communication as it pertains to every situation, not only in relationships. I thought today, I’d share some of those nuggets with you!

Ever wonder why so many fights start over Facebook? Aside from the fact that everyone seems to be a keyboard warrior, people all have differing opinions because we are complicated individuals with complicated emotions and experiences. It’s also because communication is made up of 58% body language, 35% tone of voice and only 7% words used. That means that 93% of the communication we receive over social media, text message or through a blog post can easily be misconstrued due to not seeing the person’s body language or hearing their tone.

Here are 5 quick communication tips for improving all relationships!

1. Positive Sentiment Override.
Stable relationships have a 5:1 positive to negative comment ratio in them. The old addage that “those who are appreciated will always do more than is expected” absolutely applies in business, parenting and in marriage. If you aren’t appreciated by your boss, do you want to do more for your job? If your kids are always being asked to do things for you without a thank you, do they want to help more? What about your spouse? Do you want to do for them when you feel like they’re negative and coming down on you all the time? Check yourself first. How can you offer more positive comments to those in your circle?

2. Listen!
You were given 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason. Use accordingly.

3. Soft Startups.
We need to talk, You always, You never. Think of communication like a gate. Using these phrases immediately closes the gate and builds a wall behind it. Instead, try saying something like “Hey, when you’re in the headspace to discuss finances (this morning’s meeting, your grades) let me know.” This gives the person you’re needing to speak with a heads up and allows them to meet their basic needs so they can show up to the conversation more fully, prepared and ready to be present and calm.

4. “I notice and I’m wondering…”
This is an emotionally healthy technique to starting a conversation around something someone has done that you’re irritated with. For example, your child or your spouse leaves their clothes on the bathroom floor…again. You’ve only had this conversation about 300,000 times. So rather than losing your sh*t…again, try starting with “I notice that your clothes are on the bathroom floor and I’m wondering if you remember the conversation we’ve had regarding this.” This is not only a soft startup, it’s friendly reminder, provided that you aren’t using a condescending tone. “I notice that you haven’t finished your part of our project yet and I’m wondering if you need help or if you want to have a lunch meeting to discuss some ideas.” A very polite way of saying, Hey…get on it, pal!

5. Basic Needs!
You have to meet your basic needs of food, water and sleep before you can politely and rationally engage in a serious conversation. Think of it like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the middle of Target. They’re probably tired or hungry. They aren’t trying to be a brat on purpose. You’re not much different and neither are the people you’re engaging with. If your boss is hungry and you throw a major decision their way or a fire they need to put out without warning, they’re probably going to respond a little more aggressively than they would normally. Same with your spouse if you throw a budget question at them as soon as they walk in from a long day at work. Meet your basic needs, ask if they’re in the headspace and then engage.

Hopefully this helps and if you’d like even more communication tools you can start implimenting immediately to connect with your partner, sign up for my FREE 3 day challenge starting TOMORROW, Wednesday, April 7 at 6PM CST! This is only through Zoom and exclusive to only those who sign up! You’ll get an email reminder of when we’re going live and an email of the replay afterwards! Can’t wait to see you there!

XOXO,

Kameran