This past week was an eye-opener…
I’m having a weekly session with a client and we are discussing some of the blocks around her opening her dream business. It’s taken a lot of work for her to get to the point of figuring out that this is what her calling truly is and she’s sabotaging it with her mindset. So we’re digging into this and she says to me “Kam, I don’t feel like I can be a good mom AND build this into a successful business.” Woah. It was at this point that I realized she’s not the only one that feels like this. Almost every woman I know has these limiting beliefs!
In high school and college, I was an athletic trainer for several sports. I was so passionate about training! But, I knew that down the road, I wanted a family and I truly didn’t believe I could have both so I ended up changing my major 10 times after this, always chasing what I thought would give me satisfaction and allow me the freedom to be a wife and mother. The reality was that not one of those majors gave me the fulfillment that training did or that coaching does now. Not. One. All of that time, 12 years, that I spent chasing down a fear dressed up like a dream. Anyone else relate?
Our entire society is quick to react to someone verbalizing their dreams with an opinion. How often is that reaction:
a) “Is this safe?” vs “Wow! YES sister! I am so happy for you!”
b) “Are you sure this is what you want?” vs “This sounds interesting! I’m excited for where life is taking you.”
c) “Can you make enough money doing that?” vs “As long as this makes you happy and fulfilled, I’m pumped for you!”
Our own ego gets in the way of being happy and excited for others because our ego is there to keep us safe…from saber toothed tigers and woolly mammoths. Fun fact, those don’t exist anymore. So you’re friend tells you she’s going to open a cupcake shop of her own and your first reaction becomes “what if you don’t make enough money?” or “Oh. That takes a lot of time to build a business. What about your family? They need you.” Those concerns become the tigers in your mind that you’re now projecting onto your friend’s dreams. Sadly, we do this to ourselves as well.
Our dream starts as a desire. We develop a strategy to make this desire become a reality and then just before it’s time to start putting those strategies into action, doubt creeps in. All of those tigers roar, circle and they eat us before we even get started.
I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Your first strategy is to find your WHY. When your why is big enough, those tigers will seem like alley cats.
Next, just get started. Don’t wait until it’s perfect, it never will be. Progress over perfection, always. When people start to poo-poo on your dreams and ask egocentric questions, know that they are projecting their own fears onto you. Shut it down. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.
Lastly, write it down on a piece of paper, laminate it or put it in a sheet protector and hang it somewhere you see it every day that you CAN have it all! You can be a good mom and have a successful business. You can have nice things and have kids. You can have tons of money and still have time freedom. You can work full time and still have time for the gym. You can be single and be supremely successful and the happiest you’ve ever been. You can be a single mom with a great kid and be an educated, successful woman. You can work 50 hours a week, go to school and still have a clean house. You don’t have to choose. You may need to get creative on what it looks like for you but know that it is more than possible!
Stop limiting yourself. You are strong, powerful and it is your responsibility as a human being to live out your calling and multiply the resources given to you to make this world a better place.