“BUT I WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE ME.”
This seems to be a reoccurring theme for so many in the past couple months so naturally I feel called to address it here in case any of you are feeling the same way.
Of course the feeling of rejection from those who may not like you feels crappy. Nobody wants to be rejected but the need to have everyone like you isn’t realistic for two reasons.
Reason one: It falls under the life drift of approval. If you’ve read my previous emails or seen my live videos, there are three major life drifts that everyone falls into almost every day throughout several different circumstances. The life drift of approval is heavily present in this scenario. Approval says “I’ll never BE enough.” You fall into the gutter of people pleasing with the fear of rejection and the need for acceptance. What approval leads to is Ambition- doing more to gain that acceptance or even doing anything to get that satisfaction no matter what it costs you in the process. This can lead to Appetite- the fear of not having enough (friends, love, space, time, money, etc) and around and around the triangle we go.
Reason two is an effect of number one. Not being authentic. See, when you fall into the Approval life drift and then are lead down the dark alley of ambition, you start to do more and more to gain the approval of those who supposedly don’t like you. You do things you wouldn’t normally do, things that don’t line up with your core values, and your identity is compromised all because you wanted a certain someone to like you.
If we aren’t completely set in and comfortable with who we are, we will almost always sabotage our story by becoming something we aren’t.
You are never going to make every one like you. Even Princess Diana and Mother Teresa had those select few that just had to see something negative about them. But what’s worse? Having people not like you or having people like you only for the facade you’ve put on so they would? That has a name, you know. It’s called manipulation. You’re manipulating people to see and like a version of you that isn’t truly you. So what will happen when the authentic you shines through? Believe me, it will!
The people who are supposed to be in your circle will like you for being who God created you to be and those who don’t, aren’t meant to be in your circle. It sounds like a lesson you’d give a 10 year old but that’s only because it’s a lesson that we all need to learn and get comfortable with because this little lie we tell ourselves that everyone needs to like us starts somewhere around the age of 10. Unfortunately, it follows us into our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, even 50’s and 60’s! Let it go friend. You are fighting a battle that literally cannot be won.
Besides that, by not being your authentic self, you’re not sharing the gifts of who you are whether it be in the form of time, treasure or talent with the world! The book The Ten Percent Solution by Marc Allen talks about this very concept. He says that if we would all give away just ten percent of our gifts the world as a whole would be a substantially happier place.
Be who you are, authentically and unapologetically. You’re the only one who can and the world needs more of that kind of courage and genuine presence anyway! Those who are supposed to be impacted by you will be. Those who are supposed to be in your presences will be. Those who aren’t, aren’t meant for you.
