Ever notice some cultures have more of a laid back culture than Americans? They take time for naps, coffee breaks, social gatherings and time with family is above work. They work to live while Americans live to work. We subscribe to what is called urgency culture and it’s literally killing us in the form of stress. Urgency culture looks like:
- Feeling like you have to text back right away or that others must text you back immediately.
- Feeling like others must have a comment, opinion or response about a topic right away.
- Saying things like “I’m too old for this/that” or “I’m running out of time.”
- Seeing age or time limits as a concrete belief.
- Expecting immediate results/solutions or quick fixes (fad-diets anyone?)
- Feeling like people have to do things as soon as you ask them to.
- Feeling like you have to say yes to everything people ask of you.
How many of these can you relate to?
Are you living in an urgency culture?
It’s very possible that if you said yes, this is the source of a lot of your stress! By continuing to live this way your health deteriorates, the stress increases, you project your expectations onto others in an unhealthy way. Your expectations may be too high so then you become judgy and resentful. They resent you for doing so and a wedge is formed in the relationship. You may miss out on dreams, goals and careers that would’ve made you happy all because you believed your age played a key role. So how do you stop?
- Learn to say NO. It’s a complete sentence and requires no explanation.
- Give others time.
- Know what you can and cannot control. Accept it for what it is.
- If you need an answer right away, call- don’t text.
- Plan ahead.
- Recognize that your actions, thoughts and communication have an effect on others but give them and yourself space to do what is healthy.
- Recognize that what is healthy for others may not be healthy for you and vice versa.
- BOUNDARIES! Set them. Stick to them. Respect those that others set.
- Did I mention learning to say NO? It’s so liberating and you know what? People will NOT love you less if you say no. I promise.
If you are one that’s living in the urgency culture that society has created, I challenge you to be mindful. Figure out where things aren’t working for you and what’s stressing you out and then make a shift. It might be the healthiest thing you do for yourself this year!