Last week, I talked about filtering your mouth. You can find that post here if you haven’t read it yet.
However, there are three filters we have to engage in order to have a great marriage.
The second filter is the filter on our eyes. Not to see everything perfectly or put a fake filter on to cover the imperfections but to see marriage for what it really is.
God gives us a mate for a couple of reasons. The first is that it’s not good for man to be alone. He says that himself. The next reason is that our spouses complement us. My husband is great at seeing the analytical side of things while this is not my strong suit. Meanwhile, I am the visionary that sees creativity and potential where my husband doesn’t. How do you complement your spouse? How do they complement you?
What we forget sometimes is that our partner is an extension of us. The decisions we make, words we say, success we have or don’t, where we go- it’s all a representation of our spouse. Are we acting, speaking, or moving in a way that’s respectful and shines a positive light on our marriage as a whole? Are we intentionally looking at our partner’s feelings and taking responsibility for triggering those feelings or giving empathy where it’s needed?
Additionally, can we see our partner’s weaknesses and help them to make them strengths? More importantly, are we allowing our partner to help us with our own weaknesses?
Are we seeing and accepting our spouse’s influence?
The third filter that must be present is on our heart. The heart is where the spring of life flows from. The filter doesn’t go on our physical heart but rather on our emotions.
I have seen too many relationships fail because one partner couldn’t forgive their spouse. The filter we put on our hearts helps us to remember the intentions of our spouse, who they are at their core, and forgive them when their moment of weakness gets the best of them.
Pent up resentment is like a cancer that slowly eats away at a relationship. Not seeing things from the other’s perspective makes one intellectually arrogant, contemptuous, and entitled. Showing empathy and acceptance, loving our spouse for who they are instead of who we expect them to be, forgiving their imperfections and helping them to be a better version of themselves every day- this is the purpose of the three filters.
Which filter do you need to activate more often? Which do you do well with?
Your coach,
Kameran
