This evening, I was indulging in some serious self-care. For me, this comes most often in the form of soaking in a hot bath. My husband comes in and says “you truly are living your best life, huh?” You better believe it babe. 

So here’s my Top 10 List for what you need to live your best life too. There are lots of links and name brands in here. These are not ads, just things we use and truly love. 

1. An Instant Pot
Anyone else tired of cooking 3,281 meals a week? Yeah, me too. Throw about 8 chicken breasts (frozen or fresh- doesn’t matter) in your instant pot with some water and a couple bouillon cubes, set it and forget it. You’ve now got cooked chicken for chicken salad. Throw the rest of it in a bowl and mix it with a hand mixer or your Kitchen Aid and now you have shredded chicken for enchiladas in a couple days and chicken spaghetti tonight. You can do roasts, soups, casseroles. Seriously, your possibilities here are truly endless. So is what you can do with the time you’ll save. 

2. A Hobby
Every single person I have coached in the last 6 weeks who has struggled the most with being quarantined has one thing in common. They don’t have a hobby. I started knitting again after not having touched it in probably two years. The child I’m currently pregnant with will probably be 10 by the time I’m done with the blanket I’m making but hey, it’s fun and it passes the time! 

3. A 90 day goal
Not only does a 90 day goal give you something to work toward, a purpose. It also gives you something to look forward to. This should be a SMART goal but also something that has enough impact that it propels you forward to being able to reach your yearly goal. 

4. A social media feed that you ENJOY!
I did a serious Marie Kondo of my social media not long ago and it was the smartest thing I could’ve done. The average person spends at least 4 hours a day on social media. If you’re spending half of a work day on your social media feed, shouldn’t it bring you joy instead of anger and resentment? 

5. A blue light blocker 
I know this one is super random but hear me out. I spend a ridiculous amount of time staring at a screen. Writing, coaching via Zoom, editing the podcast, teaching my child the torture that is 4th grade math, whatever it is, I’m staring at a screen clear up until it’s time to go to bed. Before I got my blue light blocking glasses, I didn’t realize how much the blue light was keeping me from sleeping well! Total game changer! There are apps you can use, settings you can change on your chromebook or if you’re in need of a new pair of glasses for you or your kiddo- www.zennioptical.com. It’s been our go to for about 4 years now. I’ve ordered a dozen pair from them and never been disappointed. Yes, 12. Mason seriously lost 7 pair between his first and second grade year. God help this child. 

6. Hot baths
Or something that makes you feel just as relaxed, calm and chillaxed as a hot bath does. 

7. A really good probiotic
90% of your immune system is in your gut. A healthy gut leads to a ton of other health benefits as well. How can you possibly live your best life if your health isn’t on par? Know that not all probiotics are equal. Good probiotics should list the strand of active cultures on the bottle and what they are good for! 

8. Virtual nights with friends
Myself and four friends did a virtual murder mystery dinner the other night and let me tell you. I have not laughed that hard in months. We all dressed up to play our parts more authentically and really get into the role. We did the 80’s Prom Night but there are so many options to choose from! Seriously so much fun! 

9. Self-Improvement
If you’re not growing, you’re dying. Growth looks different for everyone but if you’re into podcasts, some of my faves are (mine of course) Recognizing Potential podcast, Lewis Howes- School of Greatness, Jay Shetty- On Purpose, Jenna Kutcher- The Goal Digger podcast, Rachel & Dave Hollis- Rise Together, The Vision Lab podcast- Cuff & Mo, just to name a few. You can read or listen to books on Audible. Three fantastic books I’ve read since March are- Get out of your own way by Dave Hollis, Atomic Habits by James Clear and I’m currently reading The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. 

10. A Morning Routine
The days that I have felt most productive and have truly felt like I’m living my best life are the days that I follow my morning routine. I go to sleep at a decent time the night before, get a good night’s sleep. For me, that’s a solid 10-12 hours right now. I wake up refreshed, journal, read and start the day slow. Routine. Whatever that looks like for you. It’s what the most successful folks attribute to their success and I would have to agree. 

What are you going to add to your life from this list? I’d love to know how it works out for you! Reply to this email and let me know! 

Enjoy your week!  

One of the hottest buzzwords right now is “balance”. Everyone is working to achieve it but are we striving to reach something that doesn’t even exist? 

Balance, self-care, alignment, all of these words are completely subjective. We are pressured by society, our families, and friends to achieve all of them but I’m here to offer a little bit of relief. 

What balance and self-care look like to you is not the same as what it looks like for anyone else. One person may have to try to juggle being a working mom, a wife and a million other things while someone else may not be married, may be a single mom or not have kids at all but still have to juggle a million other things. It’s all hard to each person but for different reasons. 

Comparing yourself to your friend who’s storm looks completely different than your own is only going to lead to feeling defeated, angry and a shame spiral of not being good enough. All lies. You are not defeated and you are good enough. Every day. 

Last week on the podcast, I had a guest speaker on named Edie Noble. She’s a military wife and mother of 8 children. I love that she talked about replacing the word “balance” with satisfaction. What is satisfying to your family? Is it eating on the couch off of paper plates instead of around the table with the good dishes? Awesome. Is it saying no to the 400th birthday party this month because you need to reconnect as a family? That’s perfectly ok too. Is it doing church online with coffee and cinnamon rolls because the rush of getting your family out the door and to a place where you’re not all together anyway is too much? God is where your family is gathered. What does satisfaction look like to you and your family? Strive for that! 

Same with self-care. Stop telling yourself that self-care has to be getting your nails done every week or spending your Saturday at the salon and spa. Maybe self-care to you is getting your kitchen fully cleaned during the only 20 minute break you have for the day because it makes you feel accomplished. Maybe it’s locking yourself in your closet for 7 minutes just because it’s the only place your kids are too scared to look for you. Maybe it’s sitting in your car in the garage to talk to your best friend because it’s the only place you feel like you can have one conversation instead of being interrupted by the masses asking for snacks. All of these are great and again, only subjective to what your circumstances are. 

Too often we compare ourselves to the highlight reels and the belief that we have created about a person and their circumstances. If we were to get a real look inside though, we’d see that the people we are comparing ourselves to have things to deal with that we didn’t know before, didn’t see before or don’t have to deal with ourselves. 

So how do we achieve the satisfaction we are striving for? 

Create the habits that will satisfy your family. Most of the problems that bring us down in life can be traced back to the habits we are or are not engaging in. If your house is always a mess, utilize the “Yours +1” rule. You pick up every single thing that’s yours plus 1 thing that’s not. If you’re finding yourself scrolling and wasting time on social media, start time blocking your day. This has been the single most helpful thing I’ve personally done to help myself become better and less stressed each day. 

Say no. Just because you’re invited doesn’t mean you have to go. When you say yes to something, you’re taking away from something else. If what you’re saying yes to isn’t more important than your sanity, the connection with your family or the stress it’s going to cause in following through, say no. One of my favorite sayings ever and I can’t even figure out who coined it exactly says: “If it’s not a HELL YES, then it’s a no.” 

Stop comparing yourself to your friends and neighbors. They’re in the same storm as you but not the same boat anyway.

Take care of yourself so that you’re not always pouring from an empty cup, in whatever way makes sense to you.

Don’t worry if things don’t look completely balanced from the outside. Nobody is paying that much attention to how you stacked your plates because they’re too focused on keeping theirs from toppling over anyway. Stack ’em how you need to. You’re doing just fine!