This past week was an eye-opener…

I’m having a weekly session with a client and we are discussing some of the blocks around her opening her dream business. It’s taken a lot of work for her to get to the point of figuring out that this is what her calling truly is and she’s sabotaging it with her mindset. So we’re digging into this and she says to me “Kam, I don’t feel like I can be a good mom AND build this into a successful business.” Woah. It was at this point that I realized she’s not the only one that feels like this. Almost every woman I know has these limiting beliefs! 

In high school and college, I was an athletic trainer for several sports. I was so passionate about training! But, I knew that down the road, I wanted a family and I truly didn’t believe I could have both so I ended up changing my major 10 times after this, always chasing what I thought would give me satisfaction and allow me the freedom to be a wife and mother. The reality was that not one of those majors gave me the fulfillment that training did or that coaching does now. Not. One. All of that time, 12 years, that I spent chasing down a fear dressed up like a dream. Anyone else relate? 

Our entire society is quick to react to someone verbalizing their dreams with an opinion. How often is that reaction:
a) “Is this safe?” vs “Wow! YES sister! I am so happy for you!” 
b) “Are you sure this is what you want?” vs “This sounds interesting! I’m excited for where life is taking you.”
c) “Can you make enough money doing that?” vs “As long as this makes you happy and fulfilled, I’m pumped for you!” 

Our own ego gets in the way of being happy and excited for others because our ego is there to keep us safe…from saber toothed tigers and woolly mammoths. Fun fact, those don’t exist anymore. So you’re friend tells you she’s going to open a cupcake shop of her own and your first reaction becomes “what if you don’t make enough money?” or “Oh. That takes a lot of time to build a business. What about your family? They need you.” Those concerns become the tigers in your mind that you’re now projecting onto your friend’s dreams. Sadly, we do this to ourselves as well. 

Our dream starts as a desire. We develop a strategy to make this desire become a reality and then just before it’s time to start putting those strategies into action, doubt creeps in. All of those tigers roar, circle and they eat us before we even get started. 

I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Your first strategy is to find your WHY. When your why is big enough, those tigers will seem like alley cats.

Next, just get started. Don’t wait until it’s perfect, it never will be. Progress over perfection, always. When people start to poo-poo on your dreams and ask egocentric questions, know that they are projecting their own fears onto you. Shut it down. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life.

Lastly, write it down on a piece of paper, laminate it or put it in a sheet protector and hang it somewhere you see it every day that you CAN have it all! You can be a good mom and have a successful business. You can have nice things and have kids. You can have tons of money and still have time freedom. You can work full time and still have time for the gym. You can be single and be supremely successful and the happiest you’ve ever been. You can be a single mom with a great kid and be an educated, successful woman. You can work 50 hours a week, go to school and still have a clean house. You don’t have to choose. You may need to get creative on what it looks like for you but know that it is more than possible! 

Stop limiting yourself. You are strong, powerful and it is your responsibility as a human being to live out your calling and multiply the resources given to you to make this world a better place. 

Enough. 

This word has so much power, so much meaning and is used in a vast variety of situations. One that comes to mind as a mother, is when my 10 year old son is being obnoxious and I’ve told him too many times to knock it off, “ENOUGH” will come out of my mouth. At this point he knows that the fuse has burned and he better get his life together. 

Most of the time though, enough is noticed when clients come to me with the life drift that they’ll never “be enough”. Not to those they love, to their boss, to their child’s teacher, the list is endless. Being enough seems to be a driving force to succeed in all the various roles we have throughout each day, especially with women. 

But what does it mean? 

Have you ever thought about what “being enough” really looks like? What is “enough” to you? How do you know when you’ve loved your spouse or kids well enough? How do you know when you’ve loved your parents or siblings enough? How do you know when you’ve done enough? How do you know when you’re successful enough?

This got me thinking even more. Success and Enough go hand in hand. Along with asking yourself what enough is to you, what is success to you? The definition of success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. This is not a one size fits all definition. Success looks different to every person as it should. We are all made uniquely with different visions, abilities, calls and gifts. Success to me isn’t going to apply to you unless you’re in my exact circumstances, have the same beliefs, desires, contributions, etc. 

For me, I am working a full time job every single day that legitimately does not fuel me, is not my purpose and is not my definition of success. But it helps me take steps forward to achieving my definition of success for sure! For me, that looks like coaching every day, being more consistent in writing content for you all, for developing leaders in the corporate setting with freelance coaching, for working on my own terms, for myself and doing most of it (with the exception of those few corporate trainings I do each year) from home. It’s being able to enjoy my child (and God willing a couple more) and husband, getting to travel when I want and never missing a beat with my business. It’s living a life that inspires others to live their dreams without fear or hesitation! 

That’s success to me and the biggest part of that also describes my “enough”.  Being able to enjoy my life. 

As a society, we have been conditioned to believe that being busy means we are being productive and successful. We have glorified that term “busy” so much that the majority of people walking around are unhealthy, stressed out, and over 40 million Americans have developed anxiety because of it all. We are filling every minute of every day with whatever we can to be the most productive, to reach that level of enough or to reach someone else’s definition of success. What if we said “that’s enough”? What if we started living for our own definition of enough? Our own definition of success that gives us time to enjoy our one life? What if we schedule in time to rest and recover from all the “busy”? What does that look like for you? 

This holiday season, ENOUGH is my word. I will buy “enough” gifts for others to give but not so much that is tightens the belt on my bank account or feels excessive. I will eat just “enough” food to satiate me but not to the point that I am miserable for three hours after the kitchen is cleaned up. I will enjoy my loved ones “enough” that I still love them when I leave but not to the point that I feel exhausted mentally and emotionally. I will schedule “enough” things for me to do each day that I feel productive but I am not busy. Rest and recovery will be part of that list as well. 

So what does enough look like for you? How do you define success for your life? Most of all, how will you implement that into your daily life starting today?

If you aren’t sure or you need help with this, especially now as the holidays can often be overwhelming and hard, book a clarity call with me using this link. 

XOXO, 

Kameran