DivorceGrowth MindsetMarriageMindset

The Top 10 Reasons You NEED PreMarital Coaching

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

You’ve planned your wedding day for months, maybe even over a year! Everything from the flowers to the caterer, the cake, the DJ, the venue, the guests, the list goes on and on. But have you planned for your marriage? 

The build up to the wedding day is so extravagent but many couples wake up the next morning still giddy that you get to say “Good morning husband. Good morning wife.” Yet, there’s a sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach like “What now?” 

This is where premarital coaching thrives. If you’ve planned for your marriage like you’ve planned for your wedding, you wake up with confidence knowing you’ve got this! Here are the top 10 reasons why premarital coaching is so important! 

1. Did you know that in a study done by the Health Research Fund, couples who took some kind of premarital counseling/coaching course had over 30% more satisfaction in their marriage than those who didn’t take a course before marriage? 

2. Love is a verb not a noun. 
There will be seasons in your marriage that are hard. You may not “feel” in love with your spouse. I know it’s hard to believe now but it’s true. You may not be happy and you may wonder if it’s time to call it quits. The answer here is no. It’s not time to call it quits, it’s time to push through and get to the root. When you get premarital coaching, you will be given tools and preparation for these times. You’ll learn how to navigate these waters so when it sneaks up on you, you’re prepared and can row through it quickly and successfully. 

3. Coaching is less than 10% of your total wedding budget! The average cost of a wedding in 2021 is $30,433 in the US. Coaching for 12 sessions is only 5% of that total cost. Planning for your lifetime literally costs you less than your cake and that’s perishable. 

4.Speaking of perishable, many of the items you purchase for your big day are. Many items will be rented and given back or only used once and then stored or put on facebook marketplace. The tools you gain in marriage coaching are used again and again, like a family recipe book that you use for every situation, need and conflict.

5. You’re setting your future children up for success as well. These habits you develop, tools you use and put into practice are also handed down to your kids as they learn what a solid marriage looks like and how to model theirs after yours. A healthy marriage leads to a healthy life overall and a healthy family. 

6. Learn how to fight fair. 
Conflict is inevitable in marriage. Most people bring in fight styles they’ve learned from their parents or in past relationships. Many of these fight styles aren’t healthy. With coaching, you learn how to fight fair so you’re fighting together instead of against each other.
Remember: if you don’t have arguments, what you do have is a lot of secrets.

7. Learn how to connect. 
Remember those times where you’re not going to “feel in love”. These and other times will require more connection. Every person feels connection differently. Now is the time to learn how to connect with your partner on a deeper level. Learn how to be and have attentiveness, responsiveness and engagement.

8. Opportunities for growth
If you never set goals for your marriage, never work on yourself and your marriage, eventually you’ll become complacent. Complacency is the killer of happiness. Coaching provides an opportunity for you and your partner to find out where you/your relationship needs some growth. Growth leads to more satisfaction and fulfillment both as an individual and in the relationship.

9. Beat the divorce statistic
America has the 6th highest divorce rate in the world with about 50% of marriages ending in divorce. Premarital coaching starts working against that statistic the moment you sign up by giving you the awareness, tools and preparation you need. Failure happens because of improper planning or lack of execution. Coaching gives you a plan, actions and accountability.

10. There is no instruction manual to marriage or parenting but coaching gives you the tools and the toolbox with a guidebook. Without it, you’re putting together a marriage blind and with only the tools you’ve learned from others…but are they the right tools for you? 

A commonly asked question is “I’m already married and didn’t do premarital coaching! I wish we had! Is it too late?” NO! Ideally, you want to do this before you get married but it’s never too late to start adding tools to your toolbelt! 

If you or someone you know is getting married and interested in coaching, email me at coaching@recognizingpotential.com for more information or to sign up. I only take 5 couples a month so don’t wait! I look forward to working with you! 

Your coach, 

Kameran 

DivorceExpectationsFamilyGrowth MindsetMarriageMindsetParenting

They’re called blind spots for a reason.

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0
One day last week I took Mason to school. I’ll preempt this by saying that we do a lot better when we can start our mornings slow and methodically. Fun fact, someone asked me once why I wanted to be an entrepreneur and I told them it was because I didn’t want to have to wake up to an alarm clock. That’s still true. Anyway, no matter how much I front load this kid- put your snack in your back pack, lay out your clothes, set your alarm, etc etc the night before, he will inevitably forget something the next morning. This time, it was his mask. 

The long and short of it is that I was more than irritated at the lack of responsibility and the number of excuses he was spouting off like a broken faucet. In the midst of my “mom speech” and in response to him telling me that he believes he’s always responsible, I found myself saying “you don’t know your own blind spots.” 

I further explained in 11 year old terms what that meant, dropped him off, said I love you, and went about my day but I couldn’t get that one phrase out of my mind. 

Nobody knows their own blind spots. It’s why I have a coach I’ve invested 4 figures into and why my own client roster is almost full. We are all looking for help to see our blind spots. Where do we need more work? 

What part is holding us back, keeping us from reaching our fullest potential? What part of us as an individual is continually sabotaging our relationships? Everyone has a blind spot or even a few. Some are more toxic and hurtful than others. But without bringing them to light and working through them, we continue to stay stagnant, never moving forward into the best version of ourselves. Isn’t that the point of life, to grow and become the best version of you possible? 

I was working with a client this morning and she was talking about how far she’d come in the last 2 years. It’s so important to reflect on those wins but when I asked her why she started this journey in the first place her answer was shocking. Her ex-husband had made a comment that she needed to “stop acting like such a victim.” This one comment sparked a wildfire in her soul and fueled her personal development so that he, nor anyone else would ever be able to tell her she was a victim again. She’s not. She’s powerful, impactful, and thriving. She is truly an inspriation and living into the absolute best version of herself every day. All because her blind spot was made visible. Granted, the fuel was significantly more blazened by the person who said it but the results have given her more confidence in herself and her abilities. She’s a better mom, a better teacher and a better friend throughout! 

The beauty is in the process. Deep within the hard. It’s undeniably hard to self-reflect and get honest with what needs work. It’s also liberating, rewarding and ego-boosting when you can honestly say you’ve done that work and are making the world, even if it’s just your tiny corner of it, better because of the work you did. 

So what version are you living into right now? How can you bring your own blind spots to light?

XOXO,
Kameran

P.S.- Have you checked out the 3 day relationship bootcamp I offered in my facebook group last week? It opened the doors to my 1:1 relationship course BETTER ME, BETTER US. This course is for anyone who knows they want a better relationship but their partner isn’t as committed to the personal development journey just yet. Check it out here.