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Sunday night I was talking with my husband who’s been away at training for the last few weeks to become a Captain and he was telling me they had a full day of scenario training. The trainer gives scenario after scenario and the pilots have to go through what they would do to not crash the plane. A full day of this. The conversation got me thinking.
Marriage is no different. Scenario after scenario- some you see coming, some you don’t. Is this why 50% of first time marriages and 64% of second time marriages crash and burn? I think yes!
Are you prepared for what you don’t see coming?
How will you handle job loss? Infertility? A surprise baby? A child getting hurt or having an allergic reaction when your spouse is away on business? Plans not working out the way you’d dreamed up? Unmet expectations? Career changes? A parent getting sick or dying? God forbid, your spouse or child dying?
Of course you don’t want to think about any of this. It’s definitely not fun but if you aren’t prepared, the anxiety, stress and overwhelm will eat you for lunch.
Alan Lakein said “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” In this instance, he’s absolutely right.
What if you didn’t get premarital coaching? Are you doomed? Absolutely not.
Start preparing now, where you are.
Have the hard conversations. “Hey, do we have a will? Life insurance? We should probably get that.” Then, and this is the most important step- make the appointment to do so!
What do the words success, cheating, being a good wife/husband/mom/dad, exceptional marriage, marriage in general, parental support, emotional support, and effort mean to you? Assuming you have the same definition of important words leads to disappointment, hurt, resentment and anger when it feels like your partner betrayed you but they feel like they did nothing wrong.
How do you feel loved, supported, admired, respected, wanted? Again, assuming you both feel the same way leads to nothing but negativity.
What will we do in the case of…?
Exceptional marriages are not found or by luck. They are built with intention, maturity, compromise and communication.
Stress is caused by lack of preparation. This applies to all stress in life, not just in your marriage.
Prepare for the disasters so that if and when they happen, they seem like small bumps in the road instead of a catastrophe.
As always, if you need help with this, check out the courses page on this website! I’ve got some great options and even a couple new ones! 😉