Growth MindsetMarriagemental overloadMindsetParenting

Do you have enough space?

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

Do you feel like your brain is on overdrive lately? Not even taking into account the world events, it feels like the mental load we’re taking on every day is more than we were built for, right? Just me?

I was reading a study done recently about that mental overload and the havoc it’s wreaking on marriages. As it turns out, what’s missing in marriage and in life is white space. 

Do you ever look at painting and feel like the colors really pop? There’s probably a lot of white space around those colors. That’s what makes them more vibrant and appealing. 

What about in your life? When was the last time you analyzed your calendar and what thoughts get the majority of your time? Is your planner packed with events written in every possible time slot? Are you married to your work and dating your family? Do you have clarity around what really matters? Does what really matters get the majority of your thoughts and time? 

When you look at your life, is it cluttered with things, people, events and tasks that bring you peace or resentment? Is there enough white space to let those who do bring you peace and joy in?

It’s easy to give advice of finding your work/life balance but difficult to do if there is no white space. If you’re not leaving room to enjoy a hobby, be in the moment or add an opportunity that comes up spontaneously that would bring you joy, finding that balance is going to be much more difficult. I would even argue that it will seem nearly impossible. This will make the ability to feel like you have room to breathe in your life much more difficult and add to the mental overwhelm.

The lack of overwhelm in a painting comes from using a lot of white space. It’s done intentionally to add emphasis on the colors that are used. Life is much the same. The emphasis on what’s important is magnified by the white space we have around it. If our calendar is full of “stuff” that is urgent (read: needs done but has nothing to do with your goals and everything to do with someone else’s goals) but not important (fulfilling to your own goals), the people and things that are important to us get what’s leftover instead of getting our best, as they deserve.

We create more white space in our lives by learning to say no without guilt or explanation. We learn to delegate. Yes, even if we are delegating to someone who won’t do it exactly like we would. Letting go of what we can’t control. Analyzing our world to see what’s working, what isn’t and what we need more and less of. 

If you need help with creating a masterpiece of your life that has more vibrant colors, more white space and the colors are less muddled together, I have two options for you. Back to Basics is open for the October 1 session. We already have people signing up and being that this is my most successful group program to date, the 9 spots that are left will go fast! The second option is pop-up coaching. This is a 1:1 coaching call that lasts 60 minutes and we cover one or two areas that you need help with in the areas of life/work balance, relationships or parenting. Email me for questions or payment plan options. Coaching@recognizingpotential.com

XOXO, 

Kameran 

ExpectationsFamilyGrowth MindsetMarriagemental overloadMindsetParentingSelf-worth

The #1 Complaint of Women

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT IT!

Last night we went to the grocery store. I’d already spent the last two hours planning meals for the week, making the grocery list and praying that the grocery stores had stocked what I needed for this week. That winter storm straight up took Houston OUT! Remember the toilet paper shortage in 2020? Yeah, that’s coffee creamer right now. You cannot find good coffee creamer An-y-where! #FirstWorldProblems

Before leaving, I’d grabbed a bottle, made sure the diaper bag was stocked, grabbed a Yeti of Hot water to heat the bottle and could’ve bet my life on the fact that I grabbed the diaper bag too. Two hours later when I needed said bottle, I had the hot water and a fussy baby but….no diaper bag or bottle. I was so irritated that I couldn’t find it! After going all the way back home, my husband found it on the chair, right where I’d left it. How could I have forgotten the most important item for my baby? HELLO!

After a short shame spiral, I remembered a post I’d read on Facebook earlier in the week asking what the number one complaint of all women was in their marriages. Mental overload. 

I realized that it’s not only women who are married and not only pertaining to married life. It’s mental overload in general. More people than ever are coming to me for coaching. Lost, lonely, questioning their career choice, their abilities as a parent, their abilities as a spouse, and completely bogged down with decision overload. 

Where do we go for Spring Break that won’t break the bank? Where do we go that’s actually open because of Covid? Do I want to quit my job? Do I want a different career path? Do I start a business? Do I want a nap or to clean the house? Is my headache because of dehydration or something else? What do we make for dinner? When was the last time my kid had a well check? What’s due for my job? How many times have I run this load through the washer? Is this chicken in the fridge from three days ago or three weeks ago? My kid has what form due for middle school class selection? That expiration date is 2021, that’s a ways a way. Oh wait, we’re in 2021. What the….? 

Mental Overload. It’s a very real thing and I’m just going to say, if you’re not experiencing it, you are either a unicorn or a liar. 

I’m not sure there is one right answer to overcoming the mental overload but what I can say is that GRACE is the most important help right now. Grace for yourself and grace for others. Communication is second. Send the friendly reminders for dates and commitments others are involved in. Set alarms for yourself. Write the lists. If someone forgets something, understand that it’s probably not intentional. It’s probably because they’re just as mentally overloaded as you are. If you receive a friendly reminder and didn’t need it, that’s fine. Accept it with grace and thank them for sending it anyway. There may come a time when you do need it. Third, ask not how you can help. I’m finding that people’s response of “oh, nothing. It’s ok” or “I’ve got it” is just as canned as “I’m fine” when you ask how they’re doing. Ask your spouse if you can meal plan this week or what chore is at the top of their list. Ask what decisions need to be made that are weighing them down and how you can be a part of that process. Ask what meal your friend who just had surgery would like. Ask specifics. Can you take your niece and nephew for the day to help your sister in law out? Can you come sit with your new mom friend and do her dishes or fold her laundry or can you drop a coffee at her doorstep because she’s not in the mood for company but really just needs a pick me up? 

When someone says they forgot something or they sound like they’re really down on themselves, simply offer grace. A sincere “it’s really ok. Don’t worry about it.”

When that someone is you, look in the mirror and say that same response out loud. 

XOXO,
Kameran

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