FamilyGrowth MindsetMarriageMindsetParenting

Back To School Madness?

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

Anyone else feel like yesterday was May 24 and school was just letting out? Now we’re quickly sneaking up on August and the Back to School Displays are out? I don’t know about you but I’m not ready. 

We’ve had so much peace and enjoyment soaking up the sun, the moments with family and friends and the vacations that I’m not ready to go back to the madness that the school year usually brings. SO we aren’t. 

This year is going to look somewhat different than years past. 

Last year, January (after maternity leave) until about April, I constantly felt like I was juggling plates and dropping them as fast as they were stacking up. The harder I tried to keep them stacked and juggled, the harder they fell. Anyone else feel that way? 

Then I started two things that gave me back my sanity, helped my marriage thrive even more and helped me feel like I had my life together. 

1. I started saying NO. If someone asked me to do something and it didn’t align with my goals or helping myself or my family thrive, it had to be a no. This year, I’ll continuing this trend.

2. I got intentional and mastered the art of planning and preparation. Sounds like 3, but it goes together. I created two sheets. One for my husband and I to work through once a week that helped keep us accountable to each other, our goals and connect better as a couple. The other is for the whole family. It gets filled out over the weekend, hung on the fridge for all to see and reference and we live by it. The first row is for events- school, church, home, all of them. This is for kids to be involved with to see “oh, I have a soccer game on Thursday and a guitar lesson on Tuesday”. This helps them plan ahead as well. (Read: child, do not come at me on Wednesday night telling me you need your uniform washed. I will lose my marbles.)

The meal plan is the next row. I plan meals every Saturday, put in a grocery pick up order and do as much meal prepping on Sunday afternoon as I can. Sometimes, I’ll cook 2-3 meals at once so I don’t have to cook every single night. Since I’m already doing it, it doesn’t take much more time to add to what I’m already doing and it saves HOURS during the week. 

Last, the family chore row. This is secretly my favorite. Dusting, floors, bathrooms, laundry, all the big chores that take FOR-EV-ER are not my sole responsibility as the mom/wife. Everyone gets to help and it takes about 20 minutes to 1 hour to finish instead of 1-5 hours by yourself. I highly recommend this hack.

Mason will be involved in the things that truly bring him joy but I’m not forcing him to join things that don’t. Teacher’s gifts, holidays, vacations, everything is already on the calendar so that if it comes up later, I can ask- If it were really that important, wouldn’t I already have planned for it? If not, then I can ask the additional question “Is this an excited YES or is this a “I’m saying yes because I feel obligated so I’m changing my answer to an excited NO”? 

Also, at the beginning of every year, I have Mason write out his top 5 goals for this year. What does he want to be known for this year? How will he be a leader? What 3 things does he want to improve in? How does he plan to make them happen?

All this to say, these are just a few hacks that I started last year because it’s not the physical game that will wear you down. It’s the mental marathon that we’re about ready to start running and if you aren’t prepared, you’re gonna burn out real quick. 

XOXO, 

Kameran 

P.S.- To get the family organizer and/or the relationship reflection sheet, email me at coaching@recognizingpotential.com and tell me which one (or both) that you want and I will subscribe you to get my weekly newsletter and I’ll email you the ones you want. 🙂

MarriageStress

Does Your Marriage Have What It Needs?

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 2

“This is not a marriage! This is a freaking prison and I’m your slave! All I do is your laundry, pick up your crap, work all day and when I’m done and want to go do things for myself, I get excuses and reasons why I can’t or shouldn’t!” 

This scenario may or may not sound familiar. If so, you should first know that you’re not alone. To avoid this scenario though, three things must be present in a relationship for it to thrive. Three things that are not present in the scenario above. 

1. Love. 
Love is at the heart of marriage. Bound together by the care, companionship, need, values, and commonalities that can overpower immaturity, hurt, and selfishness to form something better than what we can produce on our own.  However, Love is like a plant. The plant itself is not enough to sustain on it’s own and it certainly doesn’t grow or thrive without other necessities. In the words of Patty Smyth and Don Henley “baby sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

2. Freedom
When two people are equally free to be who they are as individuals, free to disagree respectfully, free to have a healthy social life, and free to have space for their own “me” time, they are also free to love. When they do not have that freedom, they live in fear. 1 John 4:18 says that Perfect Love drives out Fear. As humans, our love will never be completely perfect but having freedom sure makes love grow and it gets pretty close, espcially when coupled with number 3. 

3. Responsibility
When both parties are responsible for your freedom within the marriage, in doing what’s best for the marriage as a whole, to each other but not for each other, and are able to maturely take responsibility for their own actions and reactions, love can grow immensely. 
When both parties cannot do that, one person ends up taking on too much responsibility and becomes resentful. Meanwhile, the party not taking responsibility for the aforementioned qualities becomes self-centered or even controlling. 

Freedom and Responsibility problems in a marriage will cause love to struggle. The love plant we talked about at the beginning of this email struggles to thrive and may wither and die because it doesn’t have the necessary nutrients. 

Think about your own relationship. Do you have love, freedom and do you take responsibility for what you need to? Ask your partner if they feel the same way. Do they feel like you have all 3? 

Your coach, 

Kameran