BoundariesExpectationsFamilyGrowth MindsetMarriageMindsetStress

Do you feel rushed all the time?

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

Ever notice some cultures have more of a laid back culture than Americans? They take time for naps, coffee breaks, social gatherings and time with family is above work. They work to live while Americans live to work. We subscribe to what is called urgency culture and it’s literally killing us in the form of stress. Urgency culture looks like:

  • Feeling like you have to text back right away or that others must text you back immediately.
  • Feeling like others must have a comment, opinion or response about a topic right away.
  • Saying things like “I’m too old for this/that” or “I’m running out of time.”
  • Seeing age or time limits as a concrete belief.
  • Expecting immediate results/solutions or quick fixes (fad-diets anyone?)
  • Feeling like people have to do things as soon as you ask them to. 
  • Feeling like you have to say yes to everything people ask of you. 

How many of these can you relate to? 

Are you living in an urgency culture? 

It’s very possible that if you said yes, this is the source of a lot of your stress! By continuing to live this way your health deteriorates, the stress increases, you project your expectations onto others in an unhealthy way. Your expectations may be too high so then you become judgy and resentful. They resent you for doing so and a wedge is formed in the relationship. You may miss out on dreams, goals and careers that would’ve made you happy all because you believed your age played a key role. So how do you stop? 

  • Learn to say NO. It’s a complete sentence and requires no explanation. 
  • Give others time. 
  • Know what you can and cannot control. Accept it for what it is. 
  • If you need an answer right away, call- don’t text. 
  • Plan ahead. 
  • Recognize that your actions, thoughts and communication have an effect on others but give them and yourself space to do what is healthy.
  • Recognize that what is healthy for others may not be healthy for you and vice versa. 
  • BOUNDARIES! Set them. Stick to them. Respect those that others set. 
  • Did I mention learning to say NO? It’s so liberating and you know what? People will NOT love you less if you say no. I promise. 

If you are one that’s living in the urgency culture that society has created, I challenge you to be mindful. Figure out where things aren’t working for you and what’s stressing you out and then make a shift. It might be the healthiest thing you do for yourself this year! 

XOXO, 

Kameran 

ExpectationsFamilyGrowth MindsetMarriagemental overloadMindsetParentingSelf-worth

The #1 Complaint of Women

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT IT!

Last night we went to the grocery store. I’d already spent the last two hours planning meals for the week, making the grocery list and praying that the grocery stores had stocked what I needed for this week. That winter storm straight up took Houston OUT! Remember the toilet paper shortage in 2020? Yeah, that’s coffee creamer right now. You cannot find good coffee creamer An-y-where! #FirstWorldProblems

Before leaving, I’d grabbed a bottle, made sure the diaper bag was stocked, grabbed a Yeti of Hot water to heat the bottle and could’ve bet my life on the fact that I grabbed the diaper bag too. Two hours later when I needed said bottle, I had the hot water and a fussy baby but….no diaper bag or bottle. I was so irritated that I couldn’t find it! After going all the way back home, my husband found it on the chair, right where I’d left it. How could I have forgotten the most important item for my baby? HELLO!

After a short shame spiral, I remembered a post I’d read on Facebook earlier in the week asking what the number one complaint of all women was in their marriages. Mental overload. 

I realized that it’s not only women who are married and not only pertaining to married life. It’s mental overload in general. More people than ever are coming to me for coaching. Lost, lonely, questioning their career choice, their abilities as a parent, their abilities as a spouse, and completely bogged down with decision overload. 

Where do we go for Spring Break that won’t break the bank? Where do we go that’s actually open because of Covid? Do I want to quit my job? Do I want a different career path? Do I start a business? Do I want a nap or to clean the house? Is my headache because of dehydration or something else? What do we make for dinner? When was the last time my kid had a well check? What’s due for my job? How many times have I run this load through the washer? Is this chicken in the fridge from three days ago or three weeks ago? My kid has what form due for middle school class selection? That expiration date is 2021, that’s a ways a way. Oh wait, we’re in 2021. What the….? 

Mental Overload. It’s a very real thing and I’m just going to say, if you’re not experiencing it, you are either a unicorn or a liar. 

I’m not sure there is one right answer to overcoming the mental overload but what I can say is that GRACE is the most important help right now. Grace for yourself and grace for others. Communication is second. Send the friendly reminders for dates and commitments others are involved in. Set alarms for yourself. Write the lists. If someone forgets something, understand that it’s probably not intentional. It’s probably because they’re just as mentally overloaded as you are. If you receive a friendly reminder and didn’t need it, that’s fine. Accept it with grace and thank them for sending it anyway. There may come a time when you do need it. Third, ask not how you can help. I’m finding that people’s response of “oh, nothing. It’s ok” or “I’ve got it” is just as canned as “I’m fine” when you ask how they’re doing. Ask your spouse if you can meal plan this week or what chore is at the top of their list. Ask what decisions need to be made that are weighing them down and how you can be a part of that process. Ask what meal your friend who just had surgery would like. Ask specifics. Can you take your niece and nephew for the day to help your sister in law out? Can you come sit with your new mom friend and do her dishes or fold her laundry or can you drop a coffee at her doorstep because she’s not in the mood for company but really just needs a pick me up? 

When someone says they forgot something or they sound like they’re really down on themselves, simply offer grace. A sincere “it’s really ok. Don’t worry about it.”

When that someone is you, look in the mirror and say that same response out loud. 

XOXO,
Kameran

P.S.-  Today is my 37th birthday! If you are questioning your purpose, wanting a different career or wanting to dig deep into who you are and who you were made to be, I am running a flash sale until this Friday on the YOUNIQUE course! 37% off! It’s normally $1,794 but this week only it’s $1,133 paid in full! Payment plans are available!! This is THE course that pulled me out of my depression 3 years ago, gave me the neon flashing sign from God that put me into coaching and gave me the ability to wake up every day knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this is what I was made for! I leave every coaching call with more energy than when I got on the call. This is the ONLY program I have that is not relationship based and I will always keep it because it’s helped so many and I believe so strongly in what it does for every single person who takes it! If this sounds like what you need, get in NOW! I only open it up twice a year and it will NEVER be priced this low again! Click here to sign up!