BoundariesGrowth MindsetMindsetSelf-worth

The Power of “And”

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

When you stand on the beach and look out at the ocean during high tide, especially as a storm rolls in, the waves are high. The crashing against the shore is soothing, beautiful and at the same time fierce and dangerous. 

The power of “and” is intense and often replaced with or. 

So often we get caught up in needing to be one thing, we forget that it’s ok for us to utilize the “and” in us as well. 

Society has these unrealistic expectations that we’re all supposed to adhere to and live beyond. Honestly, just thinking about it is exhausting and I call bull. Bull on the whole thing. 

We need to stop masking the truth and start normalizing reality. Living for what life realistically is. Not that you need it but here’s your permission to do just that. 

Be madly in love with your husband and still want to put super glue on the toilet seat if he leaves it up one more time. He probably has things that irritate him about you and still loves you with everything he has too.

Love your children fiercely, be supremely grateful for them and the opportunity to raise them and still want to lock yourself in the closet with nothing more than a bag of chocolate, a bottle of wine and your tears of frustration from the day, week, or season of life right now. You’re not alone.

Have wonderful intentions to clean the whole house and get none of it done because your children needed you more. This season won’t last forever.

It’s ok to have crazy wild dreams and work a job that’s mediocre as you fulfill them. You have bills to pay.

It’s completely “normal” to feel defeated in your business and passionate for your mission at the same time. Entrepreneur life isn’t for the faint of heart. 

Unpopular opinion but no less of a fact- It’s ok to disagree with people and still be kind to them. Period.

Set boundaries with people and still love them from afar. If they throw a fit about the boundary, that’s just proof it needed to be set in the first place.

It’s ok. Believing that you have to be one thing without the other is unrealistic. You can be both. The shame that’s cast upon you for that isn’t a sign there’s something wrong with you. It’s a sign there’s something wrong with societal norms. It’s a sign the person who’s shaming you for being both probably hasn’t come to grips with their own reality. 

Their projected pain and expectations are not yours to receive. 

Grace, acceptance and understanding that what you’re feeling when you feel both is completely normal- that’s yours to receive. 

Your coach, 

Kameran 

ExpectationsFamilyGrowth MindsetMarriagemental overloadMindsetParentingSelf-worth

The #1 Complaint of Women

Last updated on: Published by: Recognizing Potential Coaching 0

I CAN’T BELIEVE I FORGOT IT!

Last night we went to the grocery store. I’d already spent the last two hours planning meals for the week, making the grocery list and praying that the grocery stores had stocked what I needed for this week. That winter storm straight up took Houston OUT! Remember the toilet paper shortage in 2020? Yeah, that’s coffee creamer right now. You cannot find good coffee creamer An-y-where! #FirstWorldProblems

Before leaving, I’d grabbed a bottle, made sure the diaper bag was stocked, grabbed a Yeti of Hot water to heat the bottle and could’ve bet my life on the fact that I grabbed the diaper bag too. Two hours later when I needed said bottle, I had the hot water and a fussy baby but….no diaper bag or bottle. I was so irritated that I couldn’t find it! After going all the way back home, my husband found it on the chair, right where I’d left it. How could I have forgotten the most important item for my baby? HELLO!

After a short shame spiral, I remembered a post I’d read on Facebook earlier in the week asking what the number one complaint of all women was in their marriages. Mental overload. 

I realized that it’s not only women who are married and not only pertaining to married life. It’s mental overload in general. More people than ever are coming to me for coaching. Lost, lonely, questioning their career choice, their abilities as a parent, their abilities as a spouse, and completely bogged down with decision overload. 

Where do we go for Spring Break that won’t break the bank? Where do we go that’s actually open because of Covid? Do I want to quit my job? Do I want a different career path? Do I start a business? Do I want a nap or to clean the house? Is my headache because of dehydration or something else? What do we make for dinner? When was the last time my kid had a well check? What’s due for my job? How many times have I run this load through the washer? Is this chicken in the fridge from three days ago or three weeks ago? My kid has what form due for middle school class selection? That expiration date is 2021, that’s a ways a way. Oh wait, we’re in 2021. What the….? 

Mental Overload. It’s a very real thing and I’m just going to say, if you’re not experiencing it, you are either a unicorn or a liar. 

I’m not sure there is one right answer to overcoming the mental overload but what I can say is that GRACE is the most important help right now. Grace for yourself and grace for others. Communication is second. Send the friendly reminders for dates and commitments others are involved in. Set alarms for yourself. Write the lists. If someone forgets something, understand that it’s probably not intentional. It’s probably because they’re just as mentally overloaded as you are. If you receive a friendly reminder and didn’t need it, that’s fine. Accept it with grace and thank them for sending it anyway. There may come a time when you do need it. Third, ask not how you can help. I’m finding that people’s response of “oh, nothing. It’s ok” or “I’ve got it” is just as canned as “I’m fine” when you ask how they’re doing. Ask your spouse if you can meal plan this week or what chore is at the top of their list. Ask what decisions need to be made that are weighing them down and how you can be a part of that process. Ask what meal your friend who just had surgery would like. Ask specifics. Can you take your niece and nephew for the day to help your sister in law out? Can you come sit with your new mom friend and do her dishes or fold her laundry or can you drop a coffee at her doorstep because she’s not in the mood for company but really just needs a pick me up? 

When someone says they forgot something or they sound like they’re really down on themselves, simply offer grace. A sincere “it’s really ok. Don’t worry about it.”

When that someone is you, look in the mirror and say that same response out loud. 

XOXO,
Kameran

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