Growth Mindset Archives – Page 10 of 17

Let’s face it, there are so many things going on in life right now. It’s no wonder you might be feeling a bit “off”. Here are some reasons that may be causing the overwhelm and what to do about them.

Social Media
Everyone is selling something, pictures of the new boat your friends bought or the vacation so and so just went on, “use the predictive text to finish the sentence”, seems like social media is pulling you in 100 different directions!

Does your social media leave you feeling irritated, down, inferior, or more overwhelmed when you close the app?

Start limiting your time and customizing your social media to what makes you feel uplifted, happy, relaxed or inspired. Someone asked me the other day if it’s bad that they delete some of their child’s family (ex’s family) off their social media. NO! It’s YOUR social media feed! You can friend/unfriend, add, follow or delete anyone you want! No explanation needed! When you look at your feed, it should give you energy, not drain you.

Lack of organization
Planning and organization keep the world moving in a uniform fashion.

If you’ve got too many moving parts and no plan on how to make it all work, you’re going to be frazzled.

First, get a good planner! I recommend the enneagram planner by Workspacery. Use the code: RECOGNIZINGPOTENTIAL for a 10% discount. Any of the Clever Fox planners on Amazon are fantastic as well!
Then, I like to color coordinate each person’s events in my planner so I know at first glance who has what. As you’re filling things out, ask yourself these questions:

Does this need done?
If it doesn’t, then obviously that doesn’t need to take up space in your planner or in your brain.

Does this need to be done now?
Meaning, what takes priority? Can you leave certain things for another day or another time when you aren’t so busy?

Does this need to be done by me?
A person who knows their worth knows how to delegate! Kids old enough to unload the dishwasher or do the laundry? Great! Teach them some responsibility. Meal plans need made? Did you know there are 8 weeks of meal plans already made in my free facebook group? In other words, be resourceful. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel.

Lack of Boundaries
Does NO seem to be lacking from your vocabulary? If we don’t say yes authentically, we say yes resentfully. That resentment is going to lead to far more problems than if we’d just said no in the first place. Where there is a lack of boundaries, there is usually a breakdown in relationships, in self, or in the workplace.

Procrastination
It’s likely that you’re either procrastinating because you think the project is going to be hard, going to take a lot of time, or you’re already overwhelmed about it. Ever heard of the phrase “eat the frog”? It means that you get what you’re putting off done first (eating the frog) so you can move on to more pleasurable items on your to do list. You’re going to have to do it eventually so you might as well just get it over with, right?

These are only a few of the reasons you may be overwhelmed. Others might include relationship problems, financial instability, mental illness, tragic life events, only to name a few. If it’s relationship problems or financial instability, I can help you with coaching or getting you in touch with someone who can help you.

If you have no idea where to start or how to fix the overwhelm, stop the spinning plates and feel in control of your life instead of your life controlling you, I would encourage you to get into the program Back to Basics. It’s now open, has a few spots left and is my most popular group program to date! Doors close Sept 30!

XOXO,

Kameran

You know in a traditional wedding ceremony where the officiant repeats the bible verse Mark 10:9 “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate”.

I have always loved that part, thinking that it was a way to keep people from coming between the bride and the groom.

What if that verse isn’t just meant to keep other people out of our marriage though? What if we are the ones separating our own union?

For example, do you ever feel like your spouse spends more time on their phone than they do in conversation or connection with you? When you wake up in the morning, do you scroll social media before you even say good morning to your love?

I recently heard Kevin Hart say that his world was rocked and he had to reprioritize his life when he was told that he was “married to his job and dating his family”. Is work coming between you and your spouse?

Growing up, I had a friend that lived across the street and her mom and dad always put each other before the kids. Even at 7 and 8 years old, I noticed and admired that. The concept of putting your spouse’s needs before the kids is commendable and rare. Of course, there are exceptions like if you have an infant that needs fed or whatnot. For the most part though, do the kids come first or second on your priority list?

One of the reasons I divorced my first husband was that he could never set the boundary with his mother when she called and asked for money or didn’t respect the boundary I had set. Are in-laws intruding in your marriage?

Here are some other possible “intruders”:

outside hobbies and interests (hunting season anyone?)
TV
Friends
Addictions
Affairs
Church functions

What you invest the majority of your time in directly correlates to what you value most. If you put more time into your phone than you do connection with your spouse, your value is not on your marriage but on the highlight reel of other’s lives.

Reflecting on those values and the time put into your marriage, if you find yourself saying “Well, life just happened”, chances are that the bond you have with your spouse is fragile.

So how do you get out of the habit of valuing the wrong things?

Understand that your marriage is only as strong as the value you put on it. If you want a Target brand marriage, make a couple tweaks but mostly keep doing what you’re doing. If you want a Louis Vuitton marriage, you’re going to have to pay a higher price.

Meaning, you’re going to have to lay out a plan. That might mean no phones in the bedroom, no screens after 9 PM, setting boundaries with family, friends, work, etc. Getting help with addictions and affairs or your marriage as a whole. Cutting out what is lower on your list of values and starting new habits that give meaning and priority to what’s most important to you and your goals.

Take another part of the marriage ceremony, the “forsaking all others” into consideration. Forsake what is coming between the connection you and your spouse have.

As always, if you need help with this or feel that you and your spouse aren’t aligning on what you value, email me at coaching@recognizingpotential.com and let’s do a pop-up session together to help you get on the same page!

Cheers to your marriage!

Your coach,

Kameran

P.S.- have you signed up for the Good to Great! The 31 day marriage challenge yet? It isn’t your typical “send a cute text” challenge. This is a deep dive into continuous issues, healing and building of a union. Every day you’ll get a short audio lesson, a devotional and some connection challenges do complete emailed directly to you at 5 AM. You’ll spend every day in October in the word, creating a better you and a better marriage. $31 for 31 days!